Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.

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  (925): My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over. http://tfl.nu/xmqi
  Replies (1) Good night (1616) Bad night (590)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.

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  (703): in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner. http://tfl.nu/1ds9
  Replies (15) Good night (622) Bad night (789)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

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  (814): you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them. http://tfl.nu/uohp
  Replies (20) Good night (1195) Bad night (8516)
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  (716): View more from New York

  And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.

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  (716): And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself. http://tfl.nu/r0kt
  Replies (19) Good night (829) Bad night (3942)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.

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  (425): Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack. http://tfl.nu/ptag
  Replies (32) Good night (1315) Bad night (8794)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.

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  (913): It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide. http://tfl.nu/jrdr
  Replies (7) Good night (3724) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

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  (603): Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight". http://tfl.nu/suji
  Replies (5) Good night (4160) Bad night (1255)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.

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  (724): Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote. http://tfl.nu/ighh
  Replies (26) Good night (3943) Bad night (1605)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things

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  (302): my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things http://tfl.nu/xzcl
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (744)
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  (716): View more from New York

  As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."

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  (716): As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is." http://tfl.nu/8j8j
  Replies (34) Good night (5854) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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  (778): Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck? (604): And your cock privileges have been revoked. http://tfl.nu/u4qr
  Replies (10) Good night (1122) Bad night (1693)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i think i broke my dog last night...fuck

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  (319): i think i broke my dog last night...fuck http://tfl.nu/y38t
  Replies (6) Good night (417) Bad night (1713)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."

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  (302): Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back." http://tfl.nu/49s7
  Replies (14) Good night (695) Bad night (2634)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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  (306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (285)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.

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  (615): I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/1rku
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (488)

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