I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.