Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

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  (509): Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN. http://tfl.nu/p4en
  Replies (19) Good night (4278) Bad night (546)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...

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  (615): I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look... http://tfl.nu/yc9r
  Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (3074)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.

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  (647): look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me. http://tfl.nu/z593
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (3255)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month

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  (715): isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month http://tfl.nu/ybux
  Replies (10) Good night (5682) Bad night (1204)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself

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  (706): I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself http://tfl.nu/6gni
  Replies (15) Good night (1540) Bad night (612)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.

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  (440): He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face. http://tfl.nu/bq6r
  Replies (9) Good night (694) Bad night (966)
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  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1152) Bad night (614)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day

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  (701): When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day http://tfl.nu/f44m
  Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (440)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore

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  (502): Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore http://tfl.nu/xuyl
  Replies (9) Good night (1363) Bad night (577)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.

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  (803): We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/8q5m
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (930)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  15 is 15

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  (614): He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community. (1-614): 15 is 15 http://tfl.nu/ct2y
  Replies (6) Good night (498) Bad night (957)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break

  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.

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  (425): Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break (425): Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk. http://tfl.nu/ki3s
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (422)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..

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  (631): Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too.. http://tfl.nu/0nji
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (537)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...

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  (919): i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with... http://tfl.nu/x1sd
  Replies (2) Good night (209) Bad night (635)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  pray to him

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK

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  (203): HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD (1-203): pray to him (203): I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK http://tfl.nu/pw7u
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (160)

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