i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.