Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.

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  (504): Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea. http://tfl.nu/a9pb
  Replies (51) Good night (1365) Bad night (11659)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'

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  (913): Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered' http://tfl.nu/kmmk
  Replies (16) Good night (4656) Bad night (763)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1311) Bad night (4489)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

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  (817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning http://tfl.nu/qcnv
  Replies (9) Good night (3561) Bad night (1146)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again

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  (816): Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again http://tfl.nu/gicy
  Replies (6) Good night (3537) Bad night (981)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?

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  (269): He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated? http://tfl.nu/6x14
  Replies (16) Good night (1042) Bad night (3858)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

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  (231): Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger. http://tfl.nu/yx75
  Replies (13) Good night (2605) Bad night (1135)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (1138) Bad night (1634)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.

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  (248): I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex. http://tfl.nu/x4c4
  Replies (8) Good night (367) Bad night (808)
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  (718): View more from New York

  He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina

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  (718): He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina http://tfl.nu/wn6v
  Replies (7) Good night (409) Bad night (894)
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  (716): View more from New York

  As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"

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  (716): As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on" http://tfl.nu/an67
  Replies (5) Good night (487) Bad night (777)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No this is saxophone Chris

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  (804): Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris? (215): No this is saxophone Chris http://tfl.nu/wuq2
  Replies (10) Good night (1477) Bad night (451)
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  (714): View more from California

  I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?

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  (714): I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/i9uq
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (738)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!

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  (404): Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?! http://tfl.nu/p40q
  Replies (0) Good night (664) Bad night (494)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life

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  (+44): I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life http://tfl.nu/m5e9
  Replies (7) Good night (281) Bad night (634)

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