Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
