He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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