So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
handjob tips. give me some.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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