we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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