My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
