don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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