Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
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i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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