she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
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we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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