I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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