I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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