the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Text me some of your sweat
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
