He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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