Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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