Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize