I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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