Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize