idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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