If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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