piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
420 ftw
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize