I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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