My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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