On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
