so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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