she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No more Irish car bombs ever.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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