better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
