It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize