im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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