we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
