you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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