Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
