your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
