A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
