went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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