At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am naked and annoyed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
