I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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