I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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