absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
