nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
