I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
