NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
