im drinking this country out of the recession.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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