i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
