I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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