Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
