if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
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That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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