so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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