Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
