I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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