Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
