There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
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Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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