so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize