Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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