I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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