So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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