What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
