How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
