i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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