Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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